Why Growth Never Happens in Your Comfort Zone

Personal growth is never easy, no matter if it's professional, physical, academic, emotional, spiritual or maturing into adulthood. Success often requires a bit of the "hero's journey," a storytelling framework that encapsulates growth by showing initial failures followed by success.

Some growth stories are easier than others, but you will find the most interesting stories of achievement are from those who struggled the most to get to where they are today. There are countless stories that boggle the mind and make us ask, "How did he or she manage that incredible accomplishment, given their situation?"

Here is how the hero's journey works. Knowing the framework can prevent you from getting discouraged at the sign of the first failure or struggle.

Hero's Journey

At the beginning, the journey starts with a highly motivated person having an epiphany that leads them on a specific path of development. At first, the path seems fun and exciting, but then the reality of how much work and personal growth is required starts to weigh on the individual to a point of discouragement and thoughts of quitting.

If the hero has a willingness to grow through this pain of initial failure, an individual can climb out of this proverbial hole with the help of others. Basically, the hero realizes that they must up their game and learn how to meet challenges throughout the rest of the journey. From here, success follows success (with occasional failures), but the journey is still uphill, and the failures are now learning experiences instead of devastating losses.

When I was a teenager, I knew I wanted to serve as an F-14 pilot (like "Top Gun"), but I also wanted to play football collegiately. The Naval Academy seemed like the perfect opportunity to do both.

I did everything I could to be a better high school student academically and athletically. I also worked hard to develop leadership skills as a team captain and in other club leadership roles. The process was going exceptionally well (almost too well for an overconfident 18-year-old), and my work and effort were paying off.

By midway through my senior year, I was accepted into the Naval Academy as a football recruit. While I was personally at the peak of my high school years, I didn't realize I was about to start over again from the bottom. Fast-forward to my first few months at the Naval Academy. I failed my first fitness test, had less than a 2.0 GPA in my first semester and did not make the football team.

To top it off, a high school girlfriend ended our relationship, though I cannot blame her as I was not a fun person to be around at that time. My mom quickly snapped me back to reality with a clever use of reverse psychology. She said, "Why don't you just come home?" It shook me that failure was an option for her, but I said, "I can't quit." Her perfect reply was, "Well then, quit crying and let's figure this out."

I found mentors to help me where I was lacking. I took study skills classes. Extra instruction with professors and workout partners helped this former football player pass military fitness tests. I maxed my second fitness test and was on my way.

I also found a group of hard-charging students who played rugby, and many of the upperclassmen became mentors who helped me understand what work really was. I saw what they did to succeed at the academy and how they did in the fleet as Marines and SEALs. Their example was powerful.

"Seeing is believing" for many people, and it certainly was for me. I slowly dug my way out of the hole of failures and began to improve in all facets. Fast-forward a few years, and I am now helping others with failed fitness tests, a leader on the rugby team and improving my fitness to a level of a BUD/S candidate.

I literally went from one extreme to the other in a few long years of constant work well outside my comfort zone and eventually became a Navy SEAL officer. Though I did not reach my initial goal of playing football and becoming a fighter pilot, I found something that fit my mindset and allowed me to focus on growing in a different way.

"We plan and God laughs," as the saying goes, but I would not change a thing. That struggle has made me who I am today.

Take some time and understand where your comfort zone ends because that point is the beginning of the growth curve that you must learn to ride for success in any future life challenge. Growth requires consistent daily habits that develop into disciplined behavior, confidence in yourself to handle future struggles and ultimately mental toughness.

This achievement is created one spoonful at a time, as each day, you get a little bit stronger than you were the day before until you reach your dream, goal or the end of your journey. Keep moving forward as true growth requires that you never stop learning or getting better than you were yesterday.

Stew Smith is a former Navy SEAL and fitness author certified as a Strength and Conditioning Specialist (CSCS) with the National Strength and Conditioning Association. Visit his Fitness eBook store if you're looking to start a workout program to create a healthy lifestyle. Send your fitness questions to stew@stewsmith.com.

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