How to Create Community After Your Military Service Is Over

This article by Nina Semczuk originally appeared on Task & Purpose, a digital news and culture publication dedicated to military and veterans issues.

Within two weeks of moving to New York City, I found myself sitting in a room at the Y. Around the table sat men and women of every race, age and demographic. What we shared in common was our veteran status and our desire to write. That writing group -- Voices From War -- helped me feel part of something new, but also old, in the largest city of the U.S., one that many people find alienating.

I knew getting out of the Army that I'd lose more than a career. I'd lose a sense of community, purpose and the easy friendships available when you work so closely together for the long hours the military demands. So when my husband and I moved to a city where we only had a few acquaintances and one or two friends, I started poking around online to see what I could find in the veteran community space.

No matter where you move after the military, even if you're returning to where you grew up, it takes time and effort to find your sense of belonging. Your civilian job likely won't provide that as easily as the military did -- or at all.

Here's what you can do:

Try the Obvious: Veteran-Oriented Communities

All it takes is some Googling to find various veteran groups organized around certain hobbies or missions. For me, I gravitated toward anything writing or media related. In my first year post-Army, I attended the Voices From War writing workshop, The War Horse's Writing Seminar and The Daily Show Veterans Immersion Program. With each event or class, I found myself chatting to all sorts of people. Maybe it's just me, but I find it much easier to network with and befriend veterans.

You're definitely not limited to the types of groups I frequented. Friends of mine have recommended Team Red, White and Blue, an organization with the mission to "enrich the lives of America's veterans by connecting them to their community through physical and social activity." Another group great for those who like to volunteer is The Mission Continues. I've met at least a dozen vets who sing praises about the work that group does.

Try searching for veterans, plus any interest to see what you find. Offhand, I can also think of acquaintances who've attended coding and tech meetups for veterans, joined veteran business owner groups or who started their own special interest veteran club.

Use Technology to Find Your People

When I was stationed in San Antonio, I was in a unit where my co-workers were mostly gray-haired civilians the same age as my father. The built-in social life I had with my old unit was nonexistent, so I found myself trying to make local, civilian friends. As a millennial, I turned to the internet and tried Meetup.com.

You can find just about any interest on the site. For me, I was seeking outdoorsy, wellness-oriented people, so I participated in a hiking group and sampled the outdoor meditation meetup. Although I was only active in about 1½ groups, I joined and followed at least a dozen different ones, just in case an event popped up that sounded like my cup of tea.

Your range of selections will depend on your location, with larger cities offering more diverse options. But don't let a lack of a group deter you. You can always try creating one of your own. A meetup I was sad I never attended was called Thinkers and Drinkers. So really, anything goes. I will say, with meetups, what you put into it is what you'll get. The more regularly you participate in one or two groups, the better chance you'll have of growing real friendships.

Don't forget digital communities as well! They range from ones for career-minded women, such as Fairygodboss.com, to more casual and niche, like those found on Reddit.

Do Things You Enjoy with People

A simple way to find a community is to do your hobbies with people. This could mean joining a local running club, a CrossFit gym or a sports rec league. A veteran friend of mine found his people through hashing, an organization that runs and drinks together. He now has a tight-knit group of friends he sees almost every weekend.

If exercise-based groups aren't your thing now that you're not forced to pass a physical fitness test, it could be joining a church, taking an after-work amateur art class, joining the local home brewers club or doing tai chi in the park. Check your local town's newspaper, Craigslist and coffee shop bulletin boards for possibilities. Talk to people doing things you're interested in.

Last Word on Community

This phrase annoys me but seems so appropriate I can’t help including it: You do you. The best way to build an authentic, supportive community is by being you. You’re no longer stuck trying to fit in a general issue-sized box. Find the people who enjoy the same hobbies or values as you and start making friends. It’s only as hard as you make it.

Nina Semczuk served as an Army officer from 2011-2016. She earned a bachelor's degree from Boston University before military service and now lives in New York and works as a writer and editor. Find her work on SmartAsset, The Muse, The War Horse, Fast Company and at ninasemczuk.com.

More articles from Task & Purpose:

• Military Medics May Soon Carry a New Freeze-Dried Blood Plasma That's Stable at Room Temperatures 
• An Army Ranger Saved a Veteran from Burning Car, and It's Not His First Time
• Anglers, Squids, POGs and 'AAA-O' -- Military Nicknames We Love

Find the Right Veteran Job

Whether you want to polish your resume, find veteran job fairs in your area or connect with employers looking to hire veterans, Military.com can help. Subscribe to Military.com to have job postings, guides and advice, and more delivered directly to your inbox.