Resting Side by Side: How the VA Honors and Supports Families in National Cemeteries

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X Funeral of U.S. Army Air Forces Tech Sgt. John M. Carroll Soldiers from the 3rd U.S. Infantry Regiment (Honor Guard) fold the National flag during the funeral of U.S. Army Air Forces Tech Sgt. John M. Carroll at Arlington National Cemetery, Washington D.C., June 13, 2023 (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Ashleigh Maxwell, DVIDS).

Military benefits often extend beyond the veteran alone. One of the ways the nation recognizes the sacrifice is by ensuring the veteran’s closest family members can share the honor of resting in a national cemetery. Burial benefits for spouses and children of veterans exist so families can remain together, even in death, with the dignity of perpetual care in ground consecrated for military service. Understanding how these benefits work, who is eligible, and what is not included is essential for families making difficult end-of-life decisions. 

Eligibility For Family Members

Burial plots for veterans are not limited to the servicemember alone. Spouses are eligible to be buried in a VA national cemetery alongside the veteran, and this eligibility continues even if the spouse remarries after the veteran’s death. Children are also eligible, but the rules are more specific. Minor children may be interred with the veteran, and in certain cases adult children who are unmarried and permanently dependent due to a disability incurred before the age of 21 may also qualify. These eligibility rules reflect the VA’s recognition that the sacrifice of military service is shared by immediate family members, who often live with the burdens of that service long after the veteran has left the battlefield. 

What the VA Provides

When a family member is buried in a VA national cemetery, VA provides a number of services without charges. The burial plot itself is provided at no cost, including the opening and closing of the grave, a grave liner, and perpetual care of the site. The government also provides the headstone or marker and will inscribe the spouse’s or child’s name, date of birth, and date of death on the veteran’s marker at no additional cost. These benefits ensure families do not bear the expense of the plot or its upkeep, which distinguishes burial in a national cemetery from burial in a private cemetery where maintenance costs can fall heavily on the family. 

The provision of perpetual care is especially significant. Once interred, neither the veteran nor the family member’s gravesite will be neglected. VA assumes responsibility for maintenance, landscaping, and upkeep, preserving the dignity of the site in perpetuity. For many families, this assurance provides peace of mind that their loved one will be remembered in a setting that honors their service, rather than left to deteriorate due to financial or logistical constraints. 

Soldiers assigned to 3d U.S. Infantry Regiment (The Old Guard), escort the casket of U.S. Army Air Force Pvt. Bernard J. Curran to his burial site in Arlington National Cemetery, Arlington, Va., June 2, 2025. Curran is the first service member in two years to receive funeral support from Caisson Detachment. (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Nathan Winter, DVIDS).

Costs Families Must Still Cover

Although VA provides the plot and related services, families remain responsible for expenses outside the scope of the cemetery. Funeral home services, embalming or cremation, transportation of remains to the cemetery, and ceremonial details such as flowers or printed programs must be arranged and paid for privately. VA’s role begins at the cemetery gates, covering what happens on the grounds, but the costs leading up to that moment remain with the family. It is important for families to prepare for this distinction, as confusion can arise when people assume that “free burial” means every aspect of the funeral is included. 

The Role Of State And Tribal Cemeteries

In addition to the 155 VA national cemeteries, many states and tribal governments operate veterans cemeteries supported by federal grants. These cemeteries often mirror the eligibility rules and benefits of national cemeteries, offering burial plots for veterans, spouses, and dependent children with no charge for the plot, marker, or perpetual care. However, some state or tribal cemeteries may impose residency requirements, charge fees, or have additional administrative procedures. Families considering these options should confirm the specific rules of the cemetery they hope to use. 

Planning Ahead

Families can ease the burden of decision-making by applying for pre-need eligibility. Through this process, veterans and their families can receive confirmation of eligibility for burial in a VA national cemetery in advance. This pre-approval does not reserve a specific plot, but it guarantees that when the time comes, the family will not have to scramble to assemble service records or eligibility documents under emotional strain. Pre-need eligibility also ensures that spouses and children are included in the approval, eliminating uncertainty about whether they may be interred with the veteran. 

When a death occurs, families must contact the National Cemetery Scheduling Office to arrange the burial. This involves submitting the veteran’s discharge documents, such as the DD-214, along with the death certificate of the veteran or eligible family member. The scheduling office coordinates the interment, the provision of the headstone, and the arrangements for military honors if requested. While the process is efficient once eligibility is established, delays can occur if records are missing or incomplete, which is why advanced planning is strongly recommended. 

Why It Matters

Burial plots for families of veterans embody the principle that service is shared. Spouses and children often carry the unseen costs of military life, from frequent relocations to the burdens of separation and the long-term effects of service injuries on family stability. Allowing them to rest alongside their loved one in a national cemetery is an acknowledgment of those sacrifices. It also ensures the family remains united in memorial – a quiet but profound continuation of the bonds forged during life. 

The benefits also carry a financial weight. By covering the cost of the plot, perpetual care, and headstone inscription, the VA removes a significant expense that might otherwise prevent a family from being buried together. At the same time, the ceremonial dignity of national cemeteries preserves the memory of both the veteran and the family, placing them in hallowed grounds maintained as part of the nation’s enduring gratitude. 

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