While it's not only veterans who lead with rank when interacting with civilians, it can be confusing and off-putting to refer to military status, terminology and lingo unfamiliar to your civilian counterparts.
Imagine these scenarios:
- An Army veteran, Bob routinely introduces himself with, "Hi, I'm Bob. West Point Grad -- Class of '85 -- here. Nice to meet you."
- In managing her corporate team, Francine typically references, "When I was at Bragg, this is how we did things ..."
- Anthony ends his private sector emails, conversations and text messages with a resounding "Over."
Taking Off the Uniform
When I speak to or coach service members about the reintegration process, one commonly understated topic is the transition out of the physical uniform. When in uniform, your rank, decorations, accomplishments and sacrifices are prominently displayed on your shoulders, chest and collar.
Upon entering a room, others can immediately identify where you (and they) rank, based on what they see displayed on your uniform. This quick identifier is a powerful signal to others of what you've done and how far you've come.
The civilian sector doesn't have such symbols of rank, status and accomplishment. It could be argued that an expensive business suit, high-priced car and fancy shoes potentially indicate success and achievement, but that would be incorrect.
Some of the most accomplished people in the world present themselves in understated ways that do not point to their stature and triumphs.
It's been described to me as a supremely humbling experience to have sacrificed so much, earned respect and commanded attention in the military and then strip the symbolism of that away and go from being "Lt. Col. John Smith, United States Air Force" to "John Smith, job applicant."
The uniform -- a symbol of that respect and attention -- is hard to part with.
How You Describe Yourself
It's not uncommon to hear a civilian introduce themselves by the pedigree they achieved at a prestigious school or institution. While others may simply roll their eyes at this announcement, it can be more problematic when a veteran does the same.
Introducing yourself by your prior military titles, rank or schooling initiates a disconnect between what most civilians understand and what's being promoted. If they're unfamiliar with what West Point is and what it represents, if the civilian has only seen Navy SEALs in movies or if they're unclear about what it means to achieve a commander's rank, the civilian may now be at a disadvantage to know how to receive you.
They might be wondering: Are you referencing this rank and title to impress me? Do I need to stand up in your presence? How do you hope my perception of you shifts by telling me this information about your past?
If you feel compelled to introduce yourself using your past accomplishments, provide context. Instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Bob. West Point grad -- Class of '85 -- here. Nice to meet you." Offer more clarity by adding, "Hi, I'm Bob. I am proud of my military career, which started at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, where I learned important military -- and life -- values and ethics that still guide me today. During my 15 years in the Army, I focused on ..."
This way, you can speak proudly about your time at West Point and provide context for why you're bringing it into the conversation.
Leave Parts of the Past in the Past
As hard as it may be to leave military jargon, acronyms and habits in the past, doing so will ensure you communicate that you are now in the civilian sector and seek to grow your career in this new environment.
I never advocate shedding the values, work ethic and character traits the military instilled in you, but habits like addressing individuals as "Sir/Ma'am," standing at attention when others enter the room and ending communication with "over" distinctly call out that you may still have your behaviors and mindset rooted in the military culture.
The transition process is not a specific day, week or even month. Transitioning out of the military and adapting to the civilian sector can take years. Be patient with yourself and use this time to fine-tune your behavior and communication to amplify your strengths and values and downplay those habits that might leave your civilian counterparts confused.
The author of "Success After Service: How to Take Control of Your Job Search and Career After Military Duty" (2020) and "Your Next Mission: A personal branding guide for the military-to-civilian transition" (2014), Lida Citroën is a keynote speaker and presenter, executive coach, popular TEDx speaker and instructor of multiple courses on LinkedIn Learning. She regularly presents workshops on personal branding, executive presence, leadership communication and reputation risk management.
A contributing writer for Military.com, Lida is a passionate supporter of the military, volunteering her time to help veterans transition to civilian careers and assist employers who seek to hire military talent. She regularly speaks at conferences, corporate meetings and events focused on military transition.
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