Question: My boss recently told me I need to develop more allies at work. What does that mean? I'm not at work to make friends. I'm there to get my job done.
Answer: Yes, you certainly need to complete your tasks, perform up to (or exceed) expectations and get along with others to grow your post-military career. And having allies in your corner can serve you (and the organization) in many ways.
Allies are people who support, encourage and serve you. In your personal life, allies are friends with whom you socialize and celebrate, and they support you when times are tough. Professionally, allies may be colleagues, staff, supervisors or even peers in other departments or other companies. They typically serve you in that when you need help, a sounding board, guidance or tough feedback, they're there for you.
For example, here are scenarios when an ally is beneficial:
- Your boss is giving you unclear direction. While you should clarify with them directly to be sure you understand, an ally who knows this person or what your job entails can also help you decipher their instructions.
- You lost out on a promotion and feel dejected. An ally who knows what you offer can help lift your spirits and point you in a better, more viable direction.
- You have great news and want to share it with someone. Your ally should want to celebrate your success, cheer you on and validate why good things come to you.
- You've gotten caught up in gossip at work. It's not serving you or your team, and your ally pulls you aside to let you know how to move past it.
An ally isn't merely an acquaintance or someone you know superficially. They should know you well and have a deep understanding and appreciation for where you come from (your experience, skills and background), what you care about (your values, drivers, non-negotiables) and where you're headed (your ambitions and goals). In this way, they are best able to support you, where you are now and where you're heading.
How Do You Find an Ally?
You're likely surrounded by people who are or could be allies to you. Look for individuals with whom you feel comfortable and safe, where you share common interests and values and who you would feel happy endorsing and supporting. To get an ally, you need to be an ally.
Unlike a mentor (who you're asking to guide you and your career), which is a bit more formal of a relationship, you don't actually have to ask someone to be your ally. You identify someone who can benefit you, where you'd be inclined to reciprocate and with whom you initiate a conversation about mutual support. These relationships often begin casually and grow into something more professionally meaningful over time.
Return the Favor
Like any networking relationship, reciprocity is important. Your ally's role is to support you, and you should return the favor. Look for opportunities to cheer them on and celebrate their accomplishments. This can be a simple "congratulations!" text, a call-out in front of others in a meeting or posting a congratulatory message on social media. Be sure to understand your ally's comfort level with public acknowledgment first, as you don't want to embarrass them.
If they need help navigating a situation at work, you might be the right person to support them or connect them to someone who can. Your role to them is as important as their role to you -- be sure you spend the time to learn about them, their goals and what they care about.
Allies can be a fluid relationship. They might be job dependent, or company or industry dependent -- when you change roles or companies, you might shed some allies and search for new ones. These valuable relationships can also endure over the course of your entire career and life.
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