Question: I recently messed up on a project at work. My boss was understanding, since I've only been out of the Navy for six months, but I worry that others on the team think less of me now. What could I have done differently?
Answer: Mistakes happen. We all make them. Some are big and visible; some are small and more discreet. In fact, famed UCLA basketball coach John Wooden once stated, "If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything."
While we all accept that our colleagues, peers, boss and staff will make mistakes, what matters is what you do afterward. You mention that your boss accepted that your mistake was an accident; did you address the issue with your teammates? Did you explain what happened, take full accountability and apologize?
A good apology is vital. Instead of a brief, "Sorry ...," focus on these tips to rectify the mistake:
1. Give a Heartfelt, Specific and Clear Apology
You don't need to go overboard or over-explain why you feel sorry, but you should address what happened and your regret for the inconvenience your mistake caused others.
You might address each person individually or as a group (you'll decide which is best based on your team dynamics) and offer something like, "I truly apologize for the mistake, which is clearly mine ..."
Then explain how the mistake could have impacted them and their work. Something like this might be appropriate, "Bob, I know that my mistake meant you and your team had to work late Thursday to clean up the mess I made. It must have thrown off your deliverable schedule and impacted other priorities you had going at the time. For this, I'm truly sorry."
Finally, if you feel it's warranted, at the end explain how you came to the mistake in the first place. You could say, "This mistake obviously stems from my misunderstanding about the differences in process and culture that I'm used to in the Navy. I wrongly assumed it worked the same way here. Obviously, it doesn't."
2. Again, You Don't Want to Over-Explain Your Mistake or Appear to Grovel Unnecessarily
If, on the other hand, your mistake caused serious problems for the team, the project or the company, you might need to amplify the regret you feel. Discuss this with your boss or mentor to understand how much apologizing is appropriate, given the mistake and the company culture.
Then explain how you'll avoid making this mistake again. If you need more training, should have consulted with someone before acting or acted hastily instead of considering the impact first, mention those things. This reassures your team that you recognize where the break in your thinking occurred and that you've already come up with a way to avoid it happening again.
3. Resist the Urge to Blame Others
When you apologize for your mistake -- whether others had a hand in what happened or not -- own the part that's yours. Don't qualify your apology by mentioning that others also make this same mistake, or that if Susan had not made her mistake, you wouldn't have made yours, etc. Doing this significantly depreciates the value of your own apology.
Be sure to let the other person express their feelings and the impact your mistake caused them. Avoid getting defensive or rushing them along. They're entitled to explain their experience.
When you stand in full accountability for the mistake you made and you recognize how your error impacted others, you enhance your credibility with them. After all, everyone messes up from time to time. It's what we do afterward that matters most!
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