There exists a persistent gap in how the federal government supports surviving military families, according to Tamra Sipes, national president of Gold Star Spouses of America, who spoke to Military.com ahead of a major advocacy effort in Washington and, more specifically, Capitol Hill.
Sipes is leading a delegation of roughly 40-50 surviving spouses and family members to the nation's capital, where they will meet directly with lawmakers to advocate for changes to survivor benefits—particularly Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC), or the primary monthly benefit paid to families of service members who die in the line of duty.
“We’re going to advocate for improving Dependency and Indemnity Compensation, which affects every one of us,” Sipes said, emphasizing that the issue is central to the organization’s work.
At the core of their argument is a disparity between military survivor benefits and those provided to other federal families. Sipes explained that surviving spouses of federal civilian employees can receive about 55% of compensation, while military surviving spouses receive closer to 43%.
That difference, she said, has real consequences for families trying to rebuild their lives.
“In real life, it’s about $450 or more a month,” she said, noting that the structure of DIC has not been meaningfully updated since 1993 beyond routine cost-of-living adjustments.
Legislation Behind the Advocacy
The group’s Capitol Hill meetings will focus on several pieces of legislation designed to address these gaps.
The most comprehensive proposal is the Caring for Survivors Act, which would increase DIC payments to better align military survivor benefits with those provided to federal civilian employees. Sipes described this measure as the clearest path to achieving parity between the two systems.
Alongside that effort, the organization is supporting H.R. 6047, known as the Sharri Briley and Eric Edmundson Veterans Improvement Act, which is a broader package that increases Dependency and Indemnity Compensation for surviving families while also raising Special Monthly Compensation for veterans with severe service-connected disabilities.
It includes additional financial support for veterans requiring aid and attendance and makes changes to VA home loan fee rules that help fund those benefit increases. The bill carries personal significance for the families involved.
Sipes noted that Sharri Briley lost her husband during the 1993 Black Hawk Down mission and will be present on Capitol Hill as part of the advocacy effort.
A third priority, the Love Lives On Act, addresses remarriage restrictions that currently prevent surviving spouses from retaining benefits if they remarry before age 55. Advocates argue the policy forces younger widows and widowers, who are often raising children, to choose between financial stability and moving forward with their lives.
What Advocacy on Capitol Hill Looks Like
The advocacy effort is scheduled to occur Tuesday, April 21, when participants will spend the day meeting with lawmakers and congressional staff.
Sipes described a structured but demanding schedule, with small groups moving from office to office across Capitol Hill, often spending 15-20 minutes in each meeting.
“We try to cover every single office on Capitol Hill,” she said, explaining that participants also conduct drop-in visits between scheduled meetings to reach as many offices as possible.
Sipes said the experience serves as both advocacy and education, helping families understand that programs like DIC are determined by Congress. “It’s an education process,” she said, noting that lawmakers are often equally unaware of the disparity until it is explained directly.
The day’s meetings will conclude with a congressional reception held in the House Veterans’ Affairs Committee hearing room, where the organization plans to present Congressional Champion Awards to Reps. Tom Barrett (R-MI) and Jahana Hayes (D-CT) for their work on survivor benefit legislation.
In addition to the Capitol Hill advocacy, the organization has scheduled a separate ceremonial event.
On Sunday, April 19, the Gold Star Spouses will gather at Arlington National Cemetery to lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. The ceremony is open to the public and serves as a formal moment of remembrance for fallen servicemembers and their families.
While distinct from the legislative meetings, the ceremony underscores the broader purpose of the group’s presence in Washington, which is honoring sacrifice while advocating for those left behind.
Obstacles and the Path Forward
Despite growing awareness of the issue, Sipes acknowledged that passing these reforms remains difficult.
One of the primary barriers is funding, as lawmakers must weigh these proposals against competing budget priorities.
Even so, she emphasized that direct engagement is critical to building momentum. Without efforts like the fly-in, she said, many lawmakers would remain unaware of the disparities facing surviving military families.
The timing of the advocacy push adds urgency. As global conflicts continue and U.S. servicemembers remain deployed, Sipes noted that more families could face the same challenges in the future.
For those looking to support the effort, she encouraged the public to visit goldstarspouses.org to learn more about current legislation and advocacy priorities, and to contact their elected representatives to express support.
Ultimately, Sipes framed the issue as one of fairness. The benefits in question, she said, reflect a promise made to servicemembers that their families will be cared for if they do not return home. The goal of the Capitol Hill effort is to ensure that promise is fulfilled.
