Burial With Your Spouse in a National Cemetery: Here's What to Know

Your spouse served 20 years in the military. You assumed you'd be buried together in a national cemetery when the time comes. Then a friend mentioned that her sister couldn't be buried with her veteran husband because she remarried after he died.

That's not true. But confusion about national cemetery eligibility keeps families from accessing benefits they've earned. 

Who Qualifies for Burial

Any veteran discharged under conditions other than dishonorable qualifies for burial in a Department of Veterans Affairs national cemetery. That includes the gravesite, opening and closing of the grave, perpetual care, a government headstone and burial flag at no cost to the family.

Spouses qualify for burial with the veteran even if the spouse remarried after the veteran's death. That detail surprises many people. A surviving spouse who remarries doesn't lose eligibility for burial in a national cemetery. The remarriage doesn't matter.

Minor dependent children qualify. Unmarried adult children with disabilities that began before age 21 also qualify under certain conditions. These family members can be buried in the national cemetery even if they die before the veteran.

Former spouses whose marriage ended in divorce or annulment don't qualify unless they're also veterans with their own service-connected eligibility.

Read More: Veterans Can Now Get VA Auto Grants Every 10 Years. Here's What Changed

What the VA Provides

The VA operates 156 national cemeteries in 42 states and Puerto Rico. Burial benefits include a gravesite with a grave liner, opening and closing of the grave, a headstone or marker and perpetual care. Eligible spouses qualify for all these.

For veterans, benefits also include a burial flag and military funeral honors arranged through the Department of Defense.

The spouse or dependent's name and dates are inscribed on the veteran's headstone at no cost. If the spouse or dependent dies first, their information gets added to the headstone. Then when the veteran dies later, burial happens in the same gravesite.

Cremated remains receive the same treatment as casketed remains. The VA maintains columbarium niches for cremated remains at many cemeteries. Some cemeteries offer scatter gardens specifically for cremated remains.

Presidential Memorial Certificates are available for any honorably discharged veteran. Family members can request the certificate, which is signed by the current president, to honor the veteran's service.

The Pre-Need Application

You can apply years in advance to confirm eligibility. The pre-need determination process lets veterans and family members find out if they qualify before anyone dies. This eliminates uncertainty and speeds up arrangements when death occurs.

Apply online at va.gov or submit VA Form 40-10007 by mail or fax. You'll need the veteran's Social Security number, date and place of birth, military status and service history. A DD214 or other discharge documents help but aren't required. The VA will search for records if you don't have them.

If approved, you receive a pre-need decision letter. Keep it with important documents, and tell your family where it's located. When death occurs, the family or funeral director calls the National Cemetery Scheduling Office at 800-535-1117 to schedule the burial. Having the pre-need letter speeds up the process significantly.

The pre-need application doesn't obligate anyone to burial in a VA cemetery. Families can change their minds and arrange burial elsewhere. The letter just confirms eligibility if you choose national cemetery burial.

You can indicate a preferred cemetery on the application, but the VA can't guarantee burial in a specific location. Cemeteries close to new burials when they run out of space. The VA assigns gravesites in cemeteries with available space at the time of death.

State Veterans Cemeteries

Many states operate their own veterans cemeteries separate from the VA system. Eligibility is similar to VA national cemeteries but may include residency requirements. Most states provide free burial and a headstone for the veteran. Many charge a fee under $1,000 for eligible spouses and dependents.

The VA provides grants to states for establishing and improving state veterans cemeteries. Currently 120 state, tribal and territorial veterans cemeteries receive VA funding.

Read More: Full List of VA Grants Providing $77M to State Veterans Cemeteries

Planning Ahead

Only 16 percent of veterans choose burial in a national cemetery, according to VA estimates. Many don't know they're eligible. Others never get around to planning.

The pre-need application takes about 15 minutes online. Processing typically takes a few weeks. The decision letter gives you and your family certainty about eligibility and simplifies arrangements during a difficult time.

National cemetery burial is an earned benefit. Veterans who served honorably and their families have the right to burial in a national shrine maintained in perpetuity. The application process removes guesswork and ensures families can access the benefit when needed.

Talk to your family about your wishes. Complete the pre-need application. Keep the decision letter accessible. These simple steps provide peace of mind and honor service to the nation.

Sources: VA, "Eligibility for burial in a VA national cemetery," "Burial and Memorial Benefits," "Pre-need eligibility for burial in a VA cemetery," "Burial and memorial benefits for family members" and "VA National Cemetery Burial Eligibility.” Military.com, "VA National Cemetery Burial Eligibility," (2024). The American Legion, "Plan ahead for burial in a VA national cemetery," (2025). MOAA, "Surviving Spouse Corner: What to Know About National Cemetery Burials," (2025). 

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