If you’re missing a unicorn floatie in Honolulu, the Coast Guard is looking for you. Yes, you. Come get your floatie.
In what is most definitely just a safety precaution to make sure the adrift unicorn didn’t belong to an adrift person, the Coast Guard Saturday published a press release hoping that someone would claim what they described as a “white unicorn float.”
They also deployed a helicopter crew and response boat just in case the owner of the float was still out there.
Which is great. But because this problem involves a white unicorn floatie, it’s also funny.
There were no reports of missing persons, they said. But still, they looked.
Because, really, why would anyone let such a glorious piece of beach goodness escape their ownership on purpose?
“The Coast Guard requests anyone with information regarding the float to contact the Sector Honolulu Command Center at 808-842-2600.”
![](http://images04.military.com/sites/default/files/styles/thumbnail_large/public/2024-11/1time%20cher%20uss%20missouri%201200.jpg?itok=qi9yyMAM "Cher's more formal look in her 1989 music video, "If I Could Turn Back Time," filmed aboard the battleship USS Missouri. (Criteron Studios)")
